Personal Beliefs About Your Child's Information/Portraiture

Discussion in 'Open Discussion' started by Cruzan80, Nov 27, 2013.

  1. Cruzan80

    Cruzan80 Mu-43 All-Pro

    Aug 23, 2012
    Denver, Co
    Sean Rastsmith
    So, as the proud parent of our first little baby boy (born last thursday), and wanting to share him with the world (and my family begging me for the same), I find myself running into an philosophical issue. How much information out there about your child is too much? Case in point, I put up a picture of him, still in the OR, with ink on his foot and the footprint card in the shot. His genitalia were covered, but one of my family asked me if it was a risk putting his "medical information" out there (posted to my blog). I went back and looked at the photo, and the card only had my wife's name and the hospital he was born at easily read. I find myself though, saying things on Facebook like "Born just over 8 lbs, and just less than 23" long" rather than putting all of that specific information out there for everyone. I kind of feel that information should be passed over the phone, or in private emails. Since this is our first child, I am still trying to muddle my way through my ideas, and also figure out exactly what those ideas are.

    So for those of you who have had children in this new digital privacy age: What have you decided about information going out (via pictures or text)? What made you decide on that course of action? I do know that I am going to take tons of pictures of my little guy, and will post most of them on the internet, so it is not a question of his face/appearance, but rather those other "identifying information" things. I would HIGHLY PREFER preferences made regarding your own children (real or hypothetical), rather than a discussion of individual privacy in general (trying to keep this out of photographers/parents rights arena).

    Lets please be civil, and remember everyone's opinion is valuable (even if it simply reinforces how you believe the opposite). For what it is worth, all of our family on both sides are in the US, but we have many friends abroad (mostly Europe).

    Mods, if this runs too close to the rules against discussing the rights of parents vs photographers rights, please let me know and delete the thread. Again, I would like to hear advice on how you would deal with your children, and their information, not children in general.

    BTW, the pic that got me thinking about this, and the one of his hospital bracelet is at my blog My wife and my son (Saul) are both at home doing great.
  2. vchaney

    vchaney Mu-43 Regular

    Sep 22, 2010
    I use a service called lifecake that allows you to invite people into your children's lifeline. As you add photos they are notified and you can upload videos and stories too. I found this overcame the issues I had with Facebook.

    To be fair, I'm not that bothered about bits of information getting out, it doesn't mean anything at their age. I find life cake to be a better way to share everything in an environment you really control.
  3. Hyubie

    Hyubie Unique like everyone else

    Oct 15, 2010
    I might try that lifecake. For me I use Facebook's list quite extensively. I share minimal pics with all FB friends, but my Family list almost always gets a bunch of pics per week. A few here and therw in flickr. Really it's up to you - you are the parent. Your gut feel will let you know.

    Sent from my iPhone
  4. laser8

    laser8 Mu-43 Veteran

    Jan 29, 2013
    Mare nostrum, Istria
    If you have no second thoughts, then it is probably OK. I, personally, tend to avoid having my daughter's pics public, as you never know what may come in, say, 30 years. 30 years ago we had no internet and almost no PC at all!

    Having said that, I use Picasa for family pictures, as there'a an option to make them viewable only to people with whom I share the link.
  5. Neftun

    Neftun Mu-43 Veteran

    Jul 15, 2012
    Patrick Kristiansen
    I have an eight months old daughter. I take lots of photos of her, and share prints with my family, and send them an occasional email. But my wife and I do not publish anything on the web. The reasons are these:

    If she would choose to not have her pics public, we could not undo publishing them at a later time. Sure, they could be deleted from our accounts, but how would I know they are gone from the server? And we would not know who could have saved the image. Which brings me to the second reason.

    Sites like facebook do not exist as a service to us the users. We, the users, and our info, are the product. A product facebook sells. They sell info to coorperations and I am sure others so they can tailor specific advertising towards the individual. I am sure there are other ways to use the info as well. That alone is worth a discussion, but that is not for this thread, I think. My qualm is with a photo of my daughter being tagged with gps data, hashtags etc, being used by anyone else than myself and my closest. And when someone presses "like", that is also used together with the info from the person "liking" it.

    Call me paranoid, but I do not trust any social media site with too personal information. And pics of my baby daughter is as personal as it gets.

    Patrick K
    • Like Like x 3
  6. nickthetasmaniac

    nickthetasmaniac Mu-43 All-Pro

    Jan 11, 2011
    As mentioned above, I'd 'go with your gut' on this - it's a very personal issue and will obviously come down to how your partner and yourself feel about it. Personally I'd have no issues posting the pics on your blog (which are great by the way).

    In other news, I had no idea there was such a thing as 'foot prints'!
  7. flash

    flash Mu-43 Hall of Famer

    Apr 29, 2010
    1 hour from Sydney Australia.
    Nude, clothed, they're all the same to me. My first shot of my daughter (now 12) shows her on the scales and everything is there. It's a favourite of mine but I don't post it on the web because it's somewhat graphic. Although I may put it up at her 21st. :)

    I'll put nude pics of the kids up (not so much any more now that they're older) but not graphic photos. I'm also not worried about personal details. I'm just not the paranoid type. I've got a website and it has my home address. I'm not hard to find and I have nothing to hide. I also have lots of overseas relatives and so those online pics are appreciated.

    And I flat out, refuse to be dictated to by the fear of what might be. I'm here for a good time, not a long time and I'm not going to let the potential actions of some scumbag I'll never meet change the way I present myself or my kids.

    But, for me, it's important to understand and respect that not every one feels the same way. This year i was doing some photos for my sons rugby games. Because other kids were bound to be in the shots I checked if it was OK with other parents. Next thing we have a private FB page so the families can download the pictures I've taken and i start taking photos of everybody's kids. Great fun. But for me, it was important to ask.

    • Like Like x 2
  8. photo_owl

    photo_owl Mu-43 Regular

    Nov 8, 2013
    on;y you can make decisions of a philosphical nature, and you children may in time disagree!

    from a practical perspective we set up an extended family group on facebook where everyone's comfortable that they know who's looking in.

    this is complemented by the normal timeline posts for a wider audience.

    we find this works well

    and congratulations!
  9. RevBob

    RevBob Super Moderator Subscribing Member

    Jun 4, 2011
    NorthWestern PA
    Footprints are as distinct and individual as fingerprints, thus, handy for identification. :smile:
  10. dogs100

    dogs100 Mu-43 All-Pro Subscribing Member

    Nov 12, 2011
    N Devon UK
    Nothing to do with the thread topic but congratulations to you both ... bonny baby!
  11. Cruzan80

    Cruzan80 Mu-43 All-Pro

    Aug 23, 2012
    Denver, Co
    Sean Rastsmith
    Thank s s for all the antecdotal advice. I am trying to keep most of it off FB, as i trust the ToS of tumblr and others a bit more as far as keeping info post deletion. Family is spread all over so trying to find easiest way that still has "some" protection. Not paranoid but want a bit of reassurance.

    Any typos are due to one handed phone typing while he sleeps in my other arm. Tanks for all the well wishes.

    Sent from my LG-P769 using Mu-43 mobile app
  12. Amin Sabet

    Amin Sabet Administrator

    Apr 10, 2009
    Boston, MA (USA)
    I guess my personal beliefs are obvious from my avatar :smile:. Congratulations on your baby!
  13. cdmicha

    cdmicha Mu-43 Regular Subscribing Member

    Dec 28, 2012
    I'm not sure this is helpful or not, but I have a portion of my website (hosted by zenfolio) set aside to put all my pictures. I'm not as concerned about someone seeing something or being offended as much as I am about having full control of my images. I keep a main portal for all my family pics, and I've let everyone in my family know how to get there. This allows everyone in the family access to the pics when they want them, and I can simply send an email or text to everyone when I've posted new ones. And I don't have to worry about them showing up in an ad on facebook :)

    The main downside is that I have to pay for the service, but again, I retain 100% rights to all images, and have a fairly good idea who's looking at them.

    edit: I just thought- if you are the paranoid type, you could actually create multiple galleries and give different family/friends different access. You could track how often each gallery is viewed, and if allowed, how many times pictures are downloaded. Really, you could set it up just how you wanted, with as much or as little security as you want.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Cruzan80

    Cruzan80 Mu-43 All-Pro

    Aug 23, 2012
    Denver, Co
    Sean Rastsmith
    Allo f the advice is appreciated. Per the last post, this is why I started hosting on tumblr so family could see, and I have a free 50gb cloud account for them to get high rez downloads (username/password is shared amongst family).

    Amin, how worried have you been putting personal details out there, specifically regarding birth measurements? Going to swap my avatar to me holding him coming home from hospital.

    Sent from my LG-P769 using Mu-43 mobile app
  15. hazwing

    hazwing Mu-43 All-Pro

    Nov 25, 2012
    I have no children... but why do you need to keep birth measurements private? I may be concerned with things like DOB and home address, but I doubt I'd be concerned about birth measurements if my child were of an average weight. If the little one was sickly and severly underweight, I might not share that with everyone though.
  16. CaptZoom

    CaptZoom Mu-43 Regular

    Apr 11, 2013
    Flash summed up my feelings here.
    I think it's reasonable to assume our kids (mine is 4) will have significantly different notions or expectations of privacy from ours. Furthermore, their peers will be in the same boat. New laws and regulations will be implemented to address issues raised by the digital age, and life will go on as it always does.
    I dislike FB (mostly because of the horrid design and user interface), and try to limit my usage of FB to the minimum required. Like cdmicha, I host image files on my site that I want to share with my family (to ensure proper copyright protection). I occasionally use Picassa and other transfer services to get files to family and friends.
  17. Cruzan80

    Cruzan80 Mu-43 All-Pro

    Aug 23, 2012
    Denver, Co
    Sean Rastsmith
    That was kind of what I thought when my relative asked me about it, but as far as the "just over/just under" part, it isn't so much of them being a big deal privacy wise, as much as in my mind, that is THE THINGS people ask when they hear you had a baby. Not always a photo first, but those all important measurements (not sure why...). So to me, keeping the specific numbers in family was more of a "cozy family/proud parents" idea, to tell them specifically to each person, vs a risk of someone using the information in a negative way. Thanks for asking, as causing me to think about it, I was able to verbally relate why I had this kind of gut feeling.

    And he is by far not sickly and underweight. They had him in NICU for a few days (possible infection at birth) and he dwarfed any other baby in there. To be fair, the other two were both preme's, but still...
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