C&C Light, shadow, leading lines

[Antikytherapy]

Hi all.
I was going for a kind of "moment" here, trying to use the last shaft of sunlight to lead in and tell a bit of a story; soaking up the last of the rays.
I tried to get rid of as many distractions as reasonably possible, which is partially what led to the angle. I left the parasol stand so as not to disturb herself too much.

However I still feel like I didn't achieve what I saw in my head. Is it too messy? Not enough contrast? Not clear enough direction? Any and all feedback welcome, thanks in advance
P.S. looking at the EXIF data I should have stopped down a bit.

Technical details
E-M5 II
35mm
F2.8
1/6400
ISO 200

 

[MonikaO]

Very nice photo.
I really like the angle of the incoming light on her also the composition and contrast.
When I saw it, straight away B&W popped into my head
So I hope you dont mind I did a small edit of it.
I did clean up the parasol in PP and the small leaves on the left.
I debated the shadow on the floor (in the light beam)

Subscribe to see EXIF info for this image (if available)

 

[Mountain_Man_79]

I was thinking the same; black and white. However the warm golden tones of a fleeting evening light is I think equally nice here. I think you did a great job framing it all, but to Monica’s point, the parasail, green leaves, and ideally for me, the shadow that breaks up the leading lines all need(ed) to go. Well done overall though. And nice edit @MonikaO !

 

[Antikytherapy]

Very nice photo.
I really like the angle of the incoming light on her also the composition and contrast.
When I saw it, straight away B&W popped into my head
So I hope you dont mind I did a small edit of it.
I did clean up the parasol in PP and the small leaves on the left.
I debated the shadow on the floor (in the light beam)

View attachment 888181

Thanks so much @MonikaO !
You're right, the b&w really makes it work much better. Definitely what it needed.

I'll have another stab at it tomorrow and clean up everything as you've done and the TV dish shadow too- I need to work on my post processing skills anyway thanks again!

 

[Antikytherapy]

Thanks also @Mountain_Man_79, for the encouragement and suggestions

 

[Antikytherapy]

Just to close this one out... I heeded all the advice and came up with that final result (whether my b&w rendition is too harsh is another matter).
I had only ever used Lightroom until now for photo edits, so I braved GIMP for the first time and it actually wasn't as intimidating as I initially thought.

Thanks again for giving me the motivation to do so, definitely worth it!

Subscribe to see EXIF info for this image (if available)

 

[doady]

Leading lines lose their power when the horizon is not level. It's harder for the lines to lead the viewer's eye from right to left when everything is already leaning to the left side.

A leading line from the lower-right corner is a good idea. But also consider cropping some of the sky to also have a leading line from the upper-right corner to further emphasize the line.

 

[Antikytherapy]

Leading lines lose their power when the horizon is not level. It's harder for the lines to lead the viewer's eye from right to left when everything is already leaning to the left side.

A leading line from the lower-right corner is a good idea. But also consider cropping some of the sky to also have a leading line from the upper-right corner to further emphasize the line.

Fair point, thanks for the tip! I thought that would give the subject too little room to "breathe", but the compositional balance may benefit from it. Levelling the rear wall is an interesting challenge as I wasn't shooting perpendicular to it, so it's a bit keystoned, or whatever the term is. But I will try to figure that one out- I see what you mean.

 

[Neon Birding]

I agree, the B&W is a great way to present that shot with that light. The composition seems good with a good leading perspective, just the light change would help. There are other options as well: Shoot towards the sun for a back lit shot, or shoot from the side for a side lit shot. This way you can control the editing for more depth and punch. Use of various filters can enhance the light, and create glare which some consider cinematic. And, some like to shoot in the best natural lighting just before sunrise and just about sunset and the few moments after. It's great you have the eye for composition, and the desir to improve. Thus, combine great natural or enhanced light with the right angles, and you'll be shooting great portraits and videos without much editing.

 

[Antikytherapy]

I agree, the B&W is a great way to present that shot with that light. The composition seems good with a good leading perspective, just the light change would help. There are other options as well: Shoot towards the sun for a back lit shot, or shoot from the side for a side lit shot. This way you can control the editing for more depth and punch. Use of various filters can enhance the light, and create glare which some consider cinematic. And, some like to shoot in the best natural lighting just before sunrise and just about sunset and the few moments after. It's great you have the eye for composition, and the desir to improve. Thus, combine great natural or enhanced light with the right angles, and you'll be shooting great portraits and videos without much editing.

Thanks for the ideas! Something to work on as the light availability increases I've been shooting in black and white mostly for the past few months and it really helps with looking at texture and shadow.